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Phyllis' Fixin's

I have never liked baking cookies, because it's so "putsy". But, then I discovered some cookie recipes, just using cake mixes and very few additional ingredients.

Easy Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 (18.25 ounce) yellow cake mix

1/2 C. butter, softened

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

2 C. semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pour the cake mix into a large bowl. Stir in the butter, eggs and vanilla with an electric mixer until well blended. Stir in the chocolate chips. Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto cookie sheets. Bake for 11-15 minutes in the preheated oven, until the edges are golden. Cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before removing to cool on wire racks. Makes about 4 dozen.

Easy Lemon Cookies

1 (18.25 oz.) lemon cake mix

2 eggs

1/3 C. vegetable oil

1 tsp. lemon extract

1/3 C. powdered sugar (for decoration)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Pour cake mix into a large bowl. Stir in eggs, oil, and lemon extract until well blended. Drop teaspoonfuls of dough into a bowl of powdered sugar. Roll them around until they are lightly covered. Once sugared, put them onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for about 9 minutes in the preheated oven. The bottoms will be light brown, and the insides chewy.

Some comments taken off actual police car videos around the country:

"You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on your ticket, huh?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"No Sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

"How big were those "just two beers" you said you had?"

Pudding Cookies

1 (18.25 oz.) chocolate cake mix

1 small pkg. instant chocolate pudding mix

1 C. sour cream

2 eggs

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease cookie sheets. In a large bowl, stir together the cake mix and instant pudding. Stir in the sour cream and eggs until well blended. Batter will be stiff. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto the prepared cookie sheets. Bake for 8-10 minutes in the preheated oven. When cool, frost with chocolate frosting, if desired.

Soft Raisin Cookies

1 (9 oz.) pkg. yellow cake mix

1 C. quick cooking oats

1 T. unsweetened applesauce

egg substitute equivalent to 1 egg

2 T. margarine, melted

1/2 tsp. apple pie spice

1/2 C. raisins

In a mixing bowl, combine the first six ingredients; beat until blended. Stir in raisins. Drop by tablespoonfuls 2 inches apart onto baking sheets coated with nonstick cooking spray. Bake at 375 degrees for 10-12 minutes or until the edges are lightly browned. Cool for 5 minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely. Makes about 2 dozen.

More actual arrest comments:

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

"I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So, you know someone who can post your bail."

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them awhile.